Good sleep is the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. When people think of healthy behavior, diet and exercise usually top the list. But it all starts with sleep. When you are well rested, not only do you feel better, you can handle life’s inevitable ups and downs more easily. You perform better at work or play. Good sleep even helps with weight loss. Poor sleep is associated with higher food intake, unhealthy food choices, and obesity. Lack of sleep changes appetite hormones that make food cravings more likely and when you’re tired you are more likely to succumb to these cravings.
Still, most people do not get enough sleep. We don’t respect the need for sleep. I need a lot of sleep. When my daughter was an infant, I knew that if I was going to get any sleep, she had to sleep well. I decided that even if I screwed everything else up as a parent, she was going to learn to sleep and sleep well. So I read all the books. I tried all the tricks, and it took some time but, eventually it worked. She is a good sleeper.
Adults can learn to be good sleepers too. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is more effective than sleeping pills and unlike pills, CBT maintains efficacy over time. CBT combined with relaxation techniques is even more effective. CBT trains you to think about sleep more positively. It turns out, most people sleep better than they think.
Have you ever had a night where it seemed like you were awake all night long? I know I have. Instead of being awake you were probably in stage 2 sleep, which is not the truly restorative stage 3 or 4 sleep, but it is still restful. Knowing that you are sleeping better than you think helps to improve your thoughts about sleep. This can break the vicious cycle that occurs when we are lying in bed, thinking about all the adverse effects of a sleepless night, which makes it even harder to fall asleep.
It is not lack of sleep that negatively impacts daytime functioning; it is stress. Stress is likely what is keeping you up in the first place. The source of stress may be nothing more than those negative thoughts about what will happen tomorrow if you don’t get to sleep soon. I did this online course, www.cbtforinsomnia.com. You can too. It is full of helpful sleep information. Some stuff I knew about sleep hygiene, like sleep in a dark, quiet, cool room. Stay on the same schedule, going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, weekends included. Limit screen time before bed. Get some exercise during the day. Limit caffeine and alcohol. Establish a bedtime routine.
Our core body temperature drops naturally at night which is an internal sign that it is time for bed. You can artificially create this temperature drop by taking a warm bath or shower, which is why bathing before bed is often suggested as part of a nighttime routine, as is a cup of herbal tea. Meditating or stretching are also ways to help yourself relax which can then signal your body that it is time to sleep and can be part of your bedtime routine.
Another very helpful suggestion is strengthening the association between your bed and sleep. To do this, you must reduce the time spent in bed doing things other than sleeping (and sex) like reading, watching TV or most importantly tossing and turning. The more time you spend trying to sleep and failing, the more your bed becomes associated with being awake instead of sleeping. Get out of bed if you are not asleep in 20-30 minutes. Do something relaxing: read, meditate, yoga, or watch TV. Go back to bed when you feel sleepy and try again.
Counterintuitively, this might mean you should go to bed later. Growing up, my Dad, who never seemed to get enough sleep, would regularly state his intention to get to be early. I can still hear his voice in my head planning his schedule for the day around getting to bed early. It seems like a no-brainer to go to bed early, especially if you are not sleeping well, and are tired. However, instead of getting more sleep, you may waste time tossing and turning, which makes it even harder to fall asleep. The more time you spend asleep in bed, the stronger that association will be, and the easier it will be to fall asleep. For many reasons, lying in bed, tired, but unable to fall asleep is frustrating, even if you only consider the time wasted. And, who doesn’t want more time?
